That Stupid Game We Played
by augustustheliar
Summary: Mikan has been waiting for Natsume to come around for six years. And when she thought he did, something happened that broke them apart even more than they were.
1. Chapter 1

I watched one snowflake after another fall from the sky like it was the first time I saw snow. The sky was dark with what seemed like diamonds pierced onto it as I sat in front of our dormitory building with 90 percent of the school population fast asleep. I held out a hand and watched the same snowflake fall on my mitten-covered hands, I smiled, somehow, I felt delighted.

I had a ritual. Every night, at no particular time, I'd close my eyes and allow myself to think about him. It has been six years since the time he showed (very) subtle signs that he has feelings for me. Strangely, here I am, waiting for him, even if I lose faith in him sometimes, I'm here, waiting for him to come around.

"What are you doing, sleeping outside?"

My heart jumped in response to the voice. It's my source of affection, Natsume Hyuuga. He pretty much had the same personality. He's not interested in anything, he's aloof, he hardly smiles, he's mean, he keeps pushing my self-esteem to the lowest level, he says all the mean things, he ruins my day sometimes but despite that all, I think he's lovely.

"I should ask you the same question," I told him as I watched him sit inches next to me. I liked the scene.

It was the perfect time. I have been waiting for something, for three years. I've been waiting for words, those words to come out of his mouth. It's the perfect time.

"I asked you first," he returned.

"You're like a ten-year-old," I laughed. "I'm not sleepy yet."

"You're just delighting yourself, " he told me. He was staring straight off towards the trees. The tone of his voice, his blank expression, his dark eyes were just how they were the first time I saw him but now felt different.

I haven't been delighting myself but I am delighted now.

"So? I don't think there's anything wrong with that," I returned instead. "Besides, you didn't answer my question."

He closed his eyes and leaned on the post behind him. "Technically, you didn't ask anything."

I realized just now that when you love someone, you love everything he says no matter how sarcastic or silly it is.

I smiled inside. "Never mind."

Then silence came between us just like any conversation we've had. The silence was never awkward, it was just right. We could only hear the slight ruffling of the trees and the wind passing by us. I wish the trees would think we're together. I laughed inside at the thought. What I feel at the moment was just bliss. Sometimes, it's hard to keep inside but I can manage.  
"You're not sleeping, are you?" I broke in the silence.

He opened his eyes with the reflection of the school lights illuminating in it. "I'm not."  
I smiled at him. "Open your hands."

"Why should I?"

"Just do it."

He stared at me for a moment when I could feel my heart bursting already. Finally, he gave me both his hands. I took the snow that fell from my hands and placed it on his hands. He looked at the snow. "What's this?" he asked me.

"That's my…" heart. "Snow." I smiled at him.

"You're being silly again," he said, standing up and making a ball out of the snow I gave him.

He left me there. I didn't care, because he carried the snow with him. That meant, he kept my heart.

"I love you," I whispered.

Even if the words I waited for didn't come, he delighted me just like he did a million time.

Two weeks later, everybody was fussing over prom. I still don't have a date and I don't mind. Although, I have been counting how many boys have asked me, four, I turned them down because I've been waiting for someone to ask me. Anna and Nonoko have been busying themselves with their dresses and their dates. Sumire's just happy she gets one dance with Ruka. Hotaru, well, still could care less.

"You still don't have a date, Mikan," Anna asked through lunch.

"I think I can tell," I told her as I took a bite on my potato pie.

"It's two days before prom, I think it's time to give up on Natsume," Sumire told me.

I looked at Hotaru, hoping she'd tell me if Sumire was right but she was too busy making her dog robot that can talk.

The day before prom, I've convinced myself that I'll be going to the dance alone. I couldn't tell if I was sad that the one thing I wished for for three years didn't come.

I sat on the same spot where I sat two weeks ago. Maybe, I was just disappointed. I kept telling myself Natsume still had feelings for me but I'm probably just beating myself up for the wrong reasons.

I started to cry even before I knew it. Six years and nothing came out of it except pain. I remember Nonoko asking me what happened between us after all this time. She said we used to know exactly how we both felt. I never answered her because I didn't know either. Time set us apart. I shouldnt've kept my faith in him for so long.

"You're here again?" I heard his voice behind me and everything I thought seemed to have left my mind.

"Hi," I greeted him with a smile.

"Wipe your tears, you look ugly," he told me, sitting next to me.

"If you don't have anything good to say, don't talk at all."

He really didn't talk but I didn't mind either.

I sighed. Maybe God's giving me my last time with him before I let go of my hopes and wishes.

"What's wrong now?" he asked me with a hint of exasperation in his voice. I don't even know why he asked when I could easily tell it's against his will. Is it weird that he always knew there was something wrong with me?

"Nothing. What makes you think there's something wrong?" I asked him back.

He looked at me, a hint of suspicion in his eyes.

"Whatever'" he said, standing up.

"Where are you going?" I asked him, I wasn't ready for him to leave/ this was my last moment.

"You didn't stop me two weeks ago." He said, taking a small paper from his pocket. It felt like he slapped my forehead nut what he did was stuck a pos-tit on my forehead before he left.

I read the note, slowly. It said: Prom. You and Me. In front of the gym at 8.

My heart was racing in excitement as I looked at myself in the mirror in my short pink dress. This night would be p[perfect

I ran towards the gym in my flat ballet shoes, ecstatic of the moment to come. Should I really tell him I love him? This was the perfect time.

It has been an hour, I was till alone. Maybe he was nervous.

I watched couples leave the gym at 12 midnight, the prom has ended.

I sat on the gym stairs, no longer waiting for him. I should've expected this to come.

He never came


	2. Chapter 2

The weekend came after the prom, I was thankful for that. In that case, I got to spend my time alone, binge eating my misery.

I sat on my bed with a large bowl of macaroni and cheese in between my legs as I stared off on to the window, taking a spoonful of pasta into my mouth. I was venting my emotions. I don't think it was time to think about my weight.

I haven't talked to Natsume, haven't even seen him. He didn't bother to talk to me either. I guess, this is the end of our silly pairing. I felt my chest cringe at the thought of what happened. Before breaking down in tears in my room after waiting for Natsume to come, I considered that he must've had his reasons for not showing up. Bnut that rational side of me left already and my emotions took over.

I didn't want to see Natsume. I know it'll kill me. I couldn't tell either if I was disappointed, angry or if it's all that. I was scared to admit that I actually fell for his silly game of making me feel stupid.

I took the bowl and placed it next to me. I've decided, I'm going to get him for that. But as I thought of my schemes to bring him down, my heat ached. I knew that these plans would hurt me or if not, both of us. But that's what I want right? To hurt him?

* * *

Monday came, I was dreading it, calling it My Dooms Day. I was dreading to see him, see how unaffected he was of what he did to me, how he'd act like he didn't do anything, how he'd seem so nonchalant. Typical Natsume.

I entered the room, trying my best to act like my heart wasn't in pain. I smiled at Anna and Nonoko before sitting down next to Hotaru.

"Hey Mikan," Anna began. "I thought you'd still come to prom even if you were dateless?"

"Yeah, we didn't see you," Nonoko broke in.

Flammit. I should've seen this coming. I could see Natsume from the corner of my eye and I couldn't tell if he was waiting for me to answer, too.

"Oh! I was down with a flu," I lied. "But I feel so much better now."

"Oh, so that's why we didn't see you last weekend," Nonoko said.

Whew, good excuse.

"But you could've told us, too, you know," Anna said.

I just smiled, resisting the urge to steal a glance towards Natsume. But I managed to resist throughout class.

I acted like nothing's wrong with me as I ate dinner with Sumire, Hotaru, Anna and Nonoko. I was grateful for that fact that Sumire and Mochu didn't spend that much time together or else Natsume would be around. I can't deal with that now. I have to ready at some point though. I didn't even have a plan on how to get him back for what he did. I wasn't born mischievous or evil.

* * *

I chose a different spot to contemplate on since my old spot was Natsume's spot as well. I sat on the bench near the drinking fountain alone.

I waited for him to ask me to prom for three years, I wasn't going to forgive him for this. But the problem was, I couldn't think of a plan.

"Mikan?" Sumire walked towards the bench. "What are you doing here?"

"Contemplating," I answered as she sat next to me. "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to reflect, Mochu and I just fought and I'm trying to calm myself down," Sumire replied.

I stared at the night sky. "That's what's admirable between you two, you always manage to patch things up."

Sumire gave out a small laugh before we both fell silent, relying on the crickets to fill the night.

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked her.

"Sure. I maybe talkative but I can keep a secret," she told me.

Sumire's no longer the bully I once knew. She's changed, for the better. She's not natsume and Ruka's fangirl anymore now that some has caught her unrequited love. I always thought she and Mochu were perfect for each other.

"Natsume asked me to the prom," I confessed without looking at her.

"Wow, he did? Well, that's good, Mikan," she expressed, shaking my shoulders with a big smile. "Why keep it a secret?"

"Because he ditched me."

"He didn't show up?"

"No."

Sumire let out a soft sigh. "I guess, you can't really rely on him with romance."

The thing was, I relied on him with romance, loving him until my heart would stop.

"I need your help though," I began, deciding that Sumire would be mischievous enough to help me.

"With what?" she asked me.

"I always thought you could make up evil schemes and stuff. Could you make me one?" I asked her with a smile.

"To get back at Natsume?" she asked me back. I nodded. "Natsume isn't that easy to fool and I don't think those kinds of things would make you feel better."

"But in the mean time.." I gave her a pleading smile.

Sumire sighed in surrender. "If it makes you feel any better. But don't blame me if you regret it."

I held up a hand. "I swear."

She sighed again. "The only way I cold think of is make him jealous."

"But that's so conventional," I complained.

"Do you want my help or not?"

"Sir! Yes, sir!" I joked with a laugh.

Sumire rolled her eyes and continued. "Find someone who you think Natsume would find it possible that you'd date. Then flirt."

"Flirt?" I asked. "Flirting isn't my thing."

"Just stay close to the boy."

I held that thought until I fell asleep.

* * *

I was determined to get back at Natsume the next morning.

"Yuu!" I called out, running towards our class president. Yuu turned to me and smiled in response. "Can I talk to you?" Yuu was the second person I could see myself dating other than Natsume and Ruka. Ruka was off limits since he's Natsume's best friend. Then Yuu, well, he looks different now. I even dreamt of him once, which I'd rather not talk about.

"Sure," he said waving off to Koko and Kitsuneme. "What is it?"

"Well, I have a very big favor to ask of you," I said, pulling him to a place we could talk alone.

Rather than saying it as it was, I preferred to whisper so I could be sure that no one would hear.

"I don't know, Mikan, that's quite risky," Yuu replied.

I held both his hand to plead. "Please Yuu? Just for a short while?"

It took me a while to get Yuu to participate in my scheme. Soon enough, he gave in. it was a good thing Yuu grew out of being Mr. Goody-two-shoes.

Yuu and I walked to class together. I knew people wouldn't think we're dating so I clutched onto him and changed the way I talk to him. I was thankful that Anna and Nonoko didn't ask too many questions yet. Sumire merely smiled. I made sure that Natsume sees this.

"Could you take care of Anna and Nonoko for me?" I whispered to her in class.

She gave me and Ok sign before turning to face Mr. Narumi.

* * *

It was a little awkward to hold hands with Yuu. But it's a good thing he went all the way.

"Yuu!" I whispered when I saw Natsume close to proximity as Yuu and I sat on the bench after class.

Yuu jumped in his seat and faced me. He started playing with my hair and stroking my face as Natsume passed us by.

"Is it working?' I asked him as soon as Natsume was out of sight.

"I couldn't tell. If I look, he might notice that this is all a façade," he replied.

I couldn't look at Natsume either. I couldn't tell if he was even looking. I was scared to glance.

My plan went on for a few more days. Other people were already complimenting Yuu and I on how perfect we look together, some said we look like siblings. But I focused on Natsume. Sumire was right, it was hard to get something from him with his blank face. Except this one time.

Yuu moved closer to me as I leaned on a tree while Natsume and Ruka walked close. He started to play with my fingers and I faked a giggle. From the corner of my eye, I saw natsume and Ruka stop next to us. My heart began to race and I could feel my hand shaking on Yuu's waste.

"You think you can fool me?" Natsume said.

Both Yuu and I faced him.

"What?" we asked in chorus.

"If you're really together, why don't you kiss?" Natsume continued.

Yuu and I looked at each other. I could read that he was surprised, so was I. I didn't know what to do.

"I knew it," Natsume said.

It all came in a flash before Natsume left in victory. Yuu pulled me from my shoulders and kissed me. It surprised me so much that I forgot that Ruka and Natsume were there. And when I was reminded of it, I closed my eyes and gave in. I felt Yuu's lips and I know he knew this wasn't what I wanted.


End file.
